Love at First Swipe?

Love opens up for you when you’re ready to participate in it.

— Life is a Recipe

Recently I was working on a project with a woman whom I’ve worked closely with in the past. During a meeting we chatted about different aspects of our lives. She told me that she had just deleted the dating app, Bumble, from her phone. Because I was married at a young age, the world of online dating is completely foreign to me. Curiously, I asked her about her experience with the app and with dating in general. She was frustrated; she had become disheartened by the lack of genuine people she was meeting. She was looking for a meaningful long-term relationship. Like many women, she was waiting to connect with her dream guy. The people she was meeting on the app seemed to only be looking for something casual – even if their profile said otherwise. She was ready to ditch the app and meet people “IRL” (in real life).

There was a time when looking for romance through a screen was considered taboo – a pastime of computer engineers and nerdy recluses. But now more than ever, these apps have lost their social stigma. In 2015, 59% of people believed that online dating was a good way to meet a partner.* However, it seems that the more I hear stories of women using these sites, the more I seem to hear about them deleting their profiles. This paradox begs to question about what is actually effective. Just because a thing is popular doesn’t mean that it is the best way to meet someone. Or could it be that it is popular because it has proven itself to effectively connect those who were meant for each other? I must confess: this is not an area in which I have the most experience. I come from a traditional background and casual dating was never a part of the plan for me. But love is universal. Everyone wants to find their other half, right?

From what I know, it is hard to get a sense of someone’s true self, and it seems to be even harder to accomplish this through an app. We all want to present the best version of ourselves but we know that those digital portrayals aren’t always the most accurate. We simultaneously have more information about people, while having less knowledge of them. We know about their 2007 trip to Peru filled with wine and relaxation, but we don’t know what they think or how they feel. Do we dare to venture beyond their profile and into their heart? Do we dare to let another person into ours?

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Today, it seems that our communication habits have been changed by our culture and our tech. Technology can be awesome, but it can also be maddening. Have you ever posted something only to find that your own inner monologue is driving you crazy? We think things like, “He didn’t like my latest Instagram photo. Is he not interested?” Or “He liked this other person’s photo a few minutes ago so I know he’s been on the app.” Someone recently told me that she sees how long it takes for a guy to text her and then she waits double that time to text him back. Is this the new version of the “three-day rule”? These new rules of dating are like the Wild West, where one wrong move might mean heartbreak. For some, dating has become this intimidating game of risk for women who might be getting back out there after being with a partner for a long period of time. For some, not participating at all is the safer choice.
I still believe in love and the power of true connection. It takes a little time, a dash of courage, and the capacity to care for someone without conditions. (Note: this is not a suggestion to abandon healthy boundaries. That is another discussion for another time). And this applies to friendships in this modern age as well. If there’s a friend you haven’t spoken to recently, rather than send them a text, pick-up the phone and ask them out to coffee. When you do, don’t be surprised at the rewards of joy and fulfillment you receive when you get to enjoy real human touch again. Authentic relationships and quality time never go out of style.

Love opens up for you when you’re ready to participate in it.

*PEW Research Center (http://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2016/02/29/5-facts-about-online-dating/)

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Life Recipe:
Modern Love

  1. Preparing a meal for someone is a great way to open up their heart. Download one of our recipes or try the Life is a Recipe Tikka Masala Kit™. :-)
  2. Time is fleeting. If your schedule won’t allow preparing a meal, spending your lunchtime with a new acquaintance or an old friend is a great way to make the most of that midday hour.
  3. When together, spend a little time catching up with small talk, but don’t forget to try to get to the deeper levels. Share some new ideas. Share what you feel about the important happenings in your life.

Dinner Recipe:
Chicken Curry in a Brick

  • 1 whole chicken (with skin)
  • 4 tbsp greek yogurt
  • 5 roma tomatoes (cut in wedges and then in quarters)
  • 1 large brown onion (cut thinly lengthwise)
  • 2 inches of ginger (cut in small pieces)
  • 4 garlic cloves (cut lengthwise)
  • 2 serrano chilies (cut lengthwise)
  • cilantro (to garnish)
  • 2 bay Leaves
  • 2 cinnamon sticks
  • 4-5 cloves
  • 3 tsp avocado oil
  • 1 tsp turmeric
  • 1 tsp Life is a Recipe® Garam Masala
  • 1 tsp paprika
  • ½ tsp salt (more to taste)
  • ⅛ chili powder (to taste, I don't know about you but I like it spicier)
  • ½ cup of water

Instructions

  1. Soak clay oven in water (follow the directions of your clay pot).

  2. Take avocado oil, drizzle and then rub it all over the bottom of the clay oven.

  3. Poke holes all over the chicken.

  4. Stuff the holes with ginger and garlic.

  5. Place chicken in the clay oven.

  6. Add in onion around the chicken.

  7. Next, add Life is a Recipe® Garam Masala, turmeric, paprika, chili powder, and salt.

  8. Rub spices all over chicken.

  9. Add water.

  10. Drizzle chicken with 3 teaspoons of avocado oil.

  11. Add in bay leaves, cinnamon sticks, and cloves.

  12. Add chopped cilantro.

  13. Stir all ingredients together.

  14. Stuff the cavity with half of the mixture.

  15. Top with sliced chilies.

  16. Bake at 425 degrees for 90 minutes.

  17. Garnish with cilantro.

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